Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts

You Will Know Him

 Have you ever wondered how you communicate with someone for a period of time and it seems like you know them already or like you've always known them?

Life they say is deeply spiritual, i recently met up with a longtime friend who i had never met in person before. I could call her friend because we are in the same community groups, we had a few mutual friends and colleagues and we sometimes prayed together and we were aware of each other's life defining moments like having children, moving to another country and so on...  

A few days before our meetup, i had messaged her that i looked forward to meeting her for the first time and she was surprised we had not met in person. Meeting her in person was even better, it didn't feel like i was meeting her for the first time, we talked like it was what we did normally everyday and that was when it struck me even more that though i had not met her physically, there was a deeper connection beyond just meeting physically. 

That was when the reality that when we get to heaven, we will know Jesus dawned on me. It's not going to be totally strange, its going to be familiar, an awareness of a Savior who has walked this life with you. You and I will recognize his voice, same voice that was present when everyone left or when you felt alone. John 10:27 "My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me" 

You and I will recognize his palm, same palm that was pierced for our iniquities, same palm that bears our names on it same palm that carried us through storms and comforted us.  John 20:20 "After he said this, he showed them his hands and side. The disciples were overjoyed when they saw the Lord." 

You and I will recognize his eyes, same eyes that saw us when we thought no one could same eyes that see right through to our souls, Jehova El Roi! the one who sees us. 2 Chronicles 16:9 "For the eyes of the LORD roam to and fro over all the earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose hearts are fully devoted to Him". So when those words are said "‘Come, you who are blessed by My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world."(Matthew 25:34), it will be the same voice you've heard over and over and you will know Him. 

" The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice.” - John 10: 3-5

"My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me" - John10: 27

Yours in the walk. 
biblestudy life relationship
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10 years, 10 lessons.

I remember when my marriage was 7 years, i did document  some lessons (please do search for it on the blog, its titled 7 years, 7 lessons). Of course, as the years went by we continue to grow and learn a lot. This time, i wanted my husband to also share some of the lessons learned over the years. We were able to summarize to 10 short lessons shared below: 
Fun and true fact- Marriage is the first system God put in place to refine us. Long before salvation came to play. Embrace the process of refinement.
It’s a lie from hell, that you are supposed to continue to be who you were before marriage. Never! You are supposed to be better and do better.
See that popular triangle description? The one that has God at the top point and both of you at the edges, it works magic. The closer you both draw closer to God, you automatically draw closer to each other.
Forgiving each other is very important, it’s true! What is less talked about is forgiving yourself. Learn to forgive each other and most importantly forgive yourself too. 
“I am sorry” actually means “ I apologize for what I have done, I will remember the conversation we had about this and choose to do better next time” 
Leisure together, after that family movie with the kids, watch your own movie together, go on strolls, play games... find any activity you both love to do and bond over it. 
Pray about anything and everything! There is a strategic reason why this is number 7 :)
Be determined to come together in agreement, over anything: projects, vision implementation, dream actualization etc. There is power in agreement, one shall chase a thousand and two, tens of thousands.
Leverage on each other’s strength, compliment and work together as a team. Mr A always says “we are on the same team” Learn from each other, it’s a beautiful dance, learn and take those steps. 
Life can get very busy, its easy to get into the routines of work, children, business and ministry. Take moments to pause and remind each other of those dreams and desires and steps to accomplish them. And if a dream has been accomplished, take time to dream new ones. 
Yours in the walk...
life marriage relationship
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ESTABLISHING SYSTEMS


When God was going to create the heavens and the earth, He didn't just create man into a void space, God put a system in place. He made the land and the waters, the sun to rule the day and the moon to govern the night. God made the animals, male and female He created them, then He made man to work the system.

A system is a set of detailed activity or processes established to achieve a desired purpose. For example,there is a reason for a family system, there is a reason why companies and organizations operate in systems. Different departments and processes working to achieve a desired goal or purpose.


As we start a new year, let us take a moment to learn from the lesson God is trying to teach us; establish a system towards achieving your desired goals. Be deliberate, for example if your goal is to read more books,create a system around that goal, read a book when traveling and any free time you have. If you have a goal to spend more time in prayers, take prayer breaks during the day. You want to spend more time with your spouse? Go out on more date nights, do something new with your spouse, if you can't do weekly, start with twice a month, whatever works for both of you is perfect.

Look around you and establish a realistic system that works for you. Systems will make you accountable, systems will make you go the long haul, systems will encourage you to go all the way like in a marathon and not just the sprint, it will help you go through the 12 months and not just 1 month. 

Take time to evaluate the systems you have established, if it works, keep up the good work, if not, set up new systems, new systems of activities, new systems of processes that will propel you towards your goals.

Yours in the walk...
biblestudy marriage relationship
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BETRAYAL ...


Alicia and Amy were good friends, not necessarily best friends, but they were really good friends, maybe because they shared similar life experiences. They went to the same college, they grew up in the same community and in fact when Amy was going through a serious break up with her ex-boyfriend, Alicia was there to help out because she had gone through a similar experience some few months prior. Life just had a way of connecting both of them together and they both have a few fiends in common.

Maybe these were the reasons Amy had trusted Alicia with her business proposal, they were having a conversation over lunch, something casual and Amy shared her dreams and how she was working to get an investor to buy in into her business idea. Alicia had volunteered to help her go through the proposal, an idea Amy appreciated without a second thought. 

The shock Amy felt when she was presenting to Blossom Investments and the President told her that someone had presented the exact business proposal was one of disbelief. "Could Alicia have betrayed her? No, Lord please No" She kept saying those words over and over. She apologized to the president and board members that there must have been a mistake somewhere and Amy was given 48 hours to make another presentation. 


Alicia didn't pick up her calls and that was all the confirmation Amy needed. As she knelt down to pray, after hours of being distraught and discouraged, she had no words to say but "why Lord?" She felt a peace that she couldn't explain, she heard a voice telling her "Amy, i know what you are feeling, one of my disciples betrayed me too. All things will work together."
Amy wept as she picked up her bible and she opened 1 Kings 3:16-18, a story about two prostitutes who lived together and had babies only three days apart. One of the prostitutes slept on her child and the child died, then she switched the dead child with her roommate's living child. And how through the wisdom of God, King Solomon was able to judge the case rightly.

Amy was not shocked to see Alicia in the boardroom of Blossom Investments, Amy had spent the last 48 hours praying and just asking God for wisdom and grace to forgive her. The President welcomed both of them and gave them two options; That both Amy and Alicia partner together on the business or no one gets the investment at all. It was a tough decision to make, Amy could no longer trust Alicia and she couldn't work with someone she did not trust. Alicia was excited about the offer and she told the President that she was willing to move forward with Amy. 

Just then, Amy remembered the scripture she had read and a light bulb went on in her mind, "maybe, just maybe God was preparing her for this moment". "Mr President" she said "I appreciate this offer, but i cannot take it because i cannot work with someone i don't trust. I have worked hard on this proposal but i am willing to let Alicia have it. I trust God to give me another business idea."
The president was very impressed with Amy and her willingness to let go, that he decided to offer Amy the investments for her business.
   
Have you ever felt betrayed by someone before? It could be a friend or maybe a spouse? They said something you told them in confidence to a third party? or maybe using an information you gave out as their personal profit? or maybe your business idea was stolen? Whatever the case may be, the feeling of being betrayed is not a good feeling it leaves you hurt and deeply wounded. 

Amy had a few lessons to learn;

  • Jesus was betrayed  by one of His own disciples Judas Iscariot, and He knows and understands exactly how you feel.

  • Jesus was willing to forgive for the purpose of God to be fulfilled. The prostitute with the living child was willing to let go for the child to be alive. Life and purpose was more important than hurt and unforgiveness.

  • When you let go for a greater purpose, you have lost NOTHING.

Yours in the Walk...
biblestudy relationship
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7VEN YEARS, 7VEN LESSONS


#1. My first lesson was that there will be challenges. I remember reading (Numbers 13), God knew there were giants in the land before he led the people of Israel out of Egypt. God had given them the land, therefore their victory was sure.The Lord has given you your spouse, who is your promised land, indeed there will be giants but will you be like Caleb and Joshua? Who despite the giants knew they would conquer. Their confessions were different and they took possession of the land. 

#2. Marriage is meant to change you, to make you better. I am a strong believer of the fact that God is in the business of reconciling his children back to him. After Salvation, I believe that marriage is His reconciliation tool. It will teach you to love, to sacrifice, to serve, to forgive and to keep doing it consistently over and over again. Tell me how you will not become like Jesus.

#3. When you pray for new wine, remember to pray for new wine skin too. We all want newness in our marriages but no one wants to go through the process of change.
(Mark 2:22;)
"And no one pours new wine into old wineskins. Otherwise, the new wine will burst the skins and both the wine and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins".

#4. The anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. (James 1:20). Note, no matter how justified you are to be angry, it does not work the righteousness of God. Anger is a spirit, it doesn’t work in line with righteousness.

#5. Never underestimate the power of a third party- good or bad. Subject every voice to the influence of the word of God and let the strongest influence be the voice of the Holy Spirit.

#6. Learn to balance friendship with your spouse with respect and honor. I guess what I am trying to say is knowing when to wear different hats, knowing when to address him as his wife and when to address him as his best friend. I will play, joke and gist but I also accord him with great respect and honor. 

#7. It’s ok to build boundaries, they are not walls. The boundaries you set applies to you too, so do not violate the boundaries you have set if you don’t want others to do the same.
Yours in the walk....
marriage relationship
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WAITING FOR BOAZ



The story of Ruth is a beautiful story of restoration and recovery from all that was lost. Boaz was a symbol of hope and a new story. A journey from bitterness to renewal; Ruth had lost her husband and she had no children, her mother in law, Naomi had nothing left but to go back to Bethlehem and Ruth decided to go with her. On entering Bethlehem, Naomi asked to be called Mara which means bitter, but that didn't last because God changed her story.

Have you ever been in situations where life experiences have left you bitter, bitter at the decisions you have made, bitter at those around you... loss of a loved one, loss of a job, delayed expectations,shattered dreams...

Trust your convictions; Even though Ruth was widowed, there was one thing she was sure of, not going back to her people, she was from Moab, but she was sure about following her mother in law to Bethlehem. Even when Naomi presented strong facts of little or no hope, Ruth stood by her decision. And God honored her with the love of Boaz, a spring of hope in what seemed like a hopeless situation. What is that thing you are sure of inside of you? what is that conviction you have? Have you prayed about it?

Obedience; Then you have to take time and be careful to obey every instruction that God gives you. Except for when Ruth refused to go back to her people in Moab, Ruth obeyed her mother in law. every instruction and advice was followed by an act of obedience. 

Service; Serve God, Ruth served Naomi... it was while she served that she met Boaz, while she was working to get food for herself and Naomi. Ruth was out there, working and serving, if she had stayed home, she might not have met Boaz.

Relationship with God; A relationship with God is the most important of all, because the will enable you to trust your convictions, walk in obedience and serve God and others despite all the heartbreak and disappointments. God enables, He give power to the weak and strength to weary.

The truth is God had already prepared Boaz for Ruth, there was already an answer to prayers waiting for them in Bethlehem. Ruth needed a husband and Naomi needed hope for her old age, and God had made a provision for Ruth and Naomi's heart desires to be met. 

When God meets you at that point of need, He is not only changing your story but also the stories of those around you. 

Yours in the Walk...
biblestudy relationship
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A BETTER YOU AND ME


“This is who I am…”

“This was me before I got married…”

“You knew me before we got married, so why should I change?”

"Just accept me for who i am.."


Even though we are not saddled with the responsibility of changing our spouses, only God can do that, it is important to understand that "marriage is meant to change you!"Yes! to make you more like Christ! A better husband, a better wife, a better friend, a better parent, a better You!
Both parties, working together to be a better form of themselves under God's guidance should be one of the founding blocks of a Christ centered home.

Salvation brings you to Christ and Marriage is one of God's reconciliation tool, to ensure you act, behave and think Christ like. Truth is if you are the same person as you were when you first got married, then you are not growing and growth requires effort and the willingness to grow. No one wants to be stagnant on a job, we want promotion and increase, so we work harder, we take certifications and professional exams. The same effort and willingness is required for marriage too.

Most of the time, we think we know who we are before marriage... maybe not well enough.. 
Marriage revealed myself to me, who I really was, my strengths, weaknesses and oh my vulnerabilities! Am still unveiling myself, and the more I discover myself, the more I have to learn and unlearn a lot of things. It is not about "me" anymore but also about my husband, children, family, community, and generations to come.



I have been able to overcome the fear of not being myself in marriage, because i am constantly growing and learning for this reason, I make better choices and i am willing to be a better person.

I hope you are too?

So, I am still myself, but I am a better me.

Yours in the walk
marriage relationship
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THE WISDOM OF NO




I recently took time to evaluate myself in the light of the story of the ten virgins in Matthew 25:1-10

 “Then the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom. 2 Five of them were foolish, and five were wise. 3 For when the foolish took their lamps, they took no oil with them, 4 but the wise took flasks of oil with their lamps. 5 As the bridegroom was delayed, they all became drowsy and slept. 6 But at midnight there was a cry, ‘Here is the bridegroom! Come out to meet him.’ 7 Then all those virgins rose and trimmed their lamps. 8 And the foolish said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.’ 9 But the wise answered, saying, ‘Since there will not be enough for us and for you, go rather to the dealers and buy for yourselves.’ 10 And while they were going to buy, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the marriage feast, and the door was shut.

 My evaluation question was " would you be one of the 5 foolish virgins or the 5 wise virgins?" and to sincerely answer this question, i needed to understand what made some virgins foolish and what made the others wise. 

  • The first is the oil; it wasn't that the foolish virgins didn't carry any extra oil, but that they didn't carry any oil at all. They actually took their lamps and they took no oil with them. At this point i told myself, "well, i think i have some sense to take some oil with me. Its just like driving a car with no fuel in it, to take the car out, i have to ensure there is fuel in it". Check!✅
  • The second is the "No"; the wise knew that their oil will not be enough if they shared it and they were polite enough to suggest that the foolish virgins should go and buy for themselves.

It was at this point i knew i would have failed the second test. I know i would have shared my oil, the virgins were all together, watching and waiting for the bridegroom till they fell asleep, at this point am sure some bonding would have taken place, some new friendships, some shared experiences... Oh, i would have shared some of my oil.

Lesson:  The truth here is that the wisdom is not only in having the oil, but also in saying "No" to the request of the 5 foolish virgins. If the 5 wise virgins had shared their oil, they would have ended up becoming foolish because the oil would not be enough and they would have also gone out to get more. At that point, the question will not be about whether they previously had oil or not, but that they were not ready when the bridegroom came.

There is a time for everything, a time to say "no" and a time to say "yes", having an understanding of that time is wisdom. 



Yours in the Walk...
biblestudy relationship
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GODLY SEEDS



We have looked forward to this day for a while. My son will always say "mummy am so excited for camp" and I tell him "I know, you have said it like a hundred times". The Christian kids camp is for kids ages 5 and up and Jomi just became eligible to attend this year.
I cried, oh I cried, not at the fact that I was dropping my son at the Christian kids camp for the first time,  not at the realization that he was growing so fast and he will be in camp for a week... well maybe that...


But as these children were coming into the camp, trying to find their groups and parents were ensuring that their children were settled in, I saw the hunger and the eagerness to receive from God and it dawned on me...Godly parenting is an action word!
You have to be deliberate in teaching them God's word, in their daily confessions, in shaping them into women and men after God's heart. It is not enough to just pray for them, you must be active in their spiritual growth.

We all want our children to be physically healthy, well much more attention should be paid to their spiritual health. ‭‭
Malachi‬ ‭2:15a ‭NIV "Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring.”
‬‬God seeks Godly offspring, be deliberate about you and your children's spiritual growth, the enemy is on the prowl, if he doesn't get you, he will want to come for your offspring.
 Look at Revelations 12:17NIV
“Then the dragon was enraged at the woman and went off to wage war against the rest of her offspring—those who keep God’s commands and hold fast their testimony about Jesus.”
‭‭As our children are on long vacation and summer breaks make this your call and responsibility, plant those seeds, be deliberate and hand them over fully to God and He will take care of the rest.

Yours in the walk....
biblestudy marriage relationship
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"Come up hither"



"Come up hither"


It was another mother's day celebration and my husband and kids had plans for me, well most of the plans was for them but i appreciate the thought and the opportunity to spend time with them.

One of the plans for the day was to go for thrill rides, well this was more for my first son and it was a lot of fun and laughter. When it was time to go on the roller coaster, i sat in with my 5 year old and i was screaming and laughing just having fun as i watched him laugh at me. Then he said "mum, you shouldn't be scared of heights, don't you just like the view from the top?"

My ears and heart heard something deeper than what he meant, so i looked down and i saw a beautiful view that i did not see when i was on the ground, most of all, i saw farther...

Then i heard in my heart "the higher you go the farther you see.."

Sometimes, the problems and circumstances we face seem overwhelming because we are looking at them from the ground and it looks insurmountable. Maybe it is time to come up hither, come up in fellowship, come up in relationship with God and watch as that mountain become a molehill.

Sometimes, we are confused, things appear blurred and we just don't know what step to take or what to do, maybe its time to come up hither, step up in relationship with God and watch Him bring clarity, clearing away every obstacle and ordering your steps in His will.
God's word to me, i leave also with you "Come up hither".


Come up hither, the view is beautiful from the top.
Yours in the walk...
biblestudy relationship
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KINGDOM MARRIAGE BY TONY EVANS


This is a video teaching event for couples on Kingdom Marriage byTony Evans. It is a time away to rediscover yourself and your spouse under God. It is a date with God and your spouse. You don't want to miss it!
"Marriage is a covenantal union designed by God to enable both partners to fully live out their divine purpose for being. Only when both partners understand their responsibilities underneath God will they maximize this unique union" Tony Evans
A Roundtable Discussion, Free study materials, Admission is free and Lunch will be provided.

DATE AND TIME


Sat, June 3, 2017
9:00 AM – 3:00 PM

LOCATION

Whitebrook Suites Conference Hall
16B, Imam Dauda street, off Eric Moore Road, Surulere
Lagos, Nigeria.

Please click the link below to register:
biblestudy marriage relationship
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FRIENDSHIPS- LESSONS FROM THE BOOK OF JOB (2)

(Continued from previous post)

GOD’S TRUTH CAN COME FROM OTHER PEOPLE – ELIHU

In the 32nd chapter of the book of Job, another person was introduced, we do not know how long Elihu had been with Job or at what point he joined the other three friends of Job, but what we know is that he had listened to all of them speak and he had waited before speaking to Job because he was much younger than them all and we don’t know what relationship he had with Job. Elihu saw differently, he did not condemn and criticize Job like the other friends did, but he encouraged Job to stop and consider God’s wonders (Job 37:14), no wonder God spoke after Elihu had spoken! Have you ever spoken to some people who will encourage and help you have a change of perspective that will make you see God in the situation? Their words just sets a different atmosphere and your ears open to hear what God is saying. Everyone needs an Elihu! They might not be your friend, they might be younger or older, it is important to recognize the Elihus in our lives. People who see differently, people who will tell you the truth and God’s mind in whatever situation you are going through, people who are not afraid to tell you, you are wrong, regardless of age, status and class. 

YOUR RESPONSE MATTERS

When Elihu came into the scene in Job 32, the bible recorded that he was angry with Job and his three friends because their responses were not right.
Most studies of the book of Job tells a lot about Job’s righteousness and his faithfulness to God especially in a difficult time, but this does not mean that Job’s response was right. Job was justifying himself to his friends and to God and his friends also criticized him. Elihu told Job to rather justify God instead of himself and when God spoke in Chapter 38, God addressed Job’s questions with his greatness through the works of His hands and power. God showed Himself to Job, Job 42vs5: “My ears had heard of you, but now my eyes have seen you”.

FOCUS ON GOD

Either as a friend or someone going through a difficult time, self-righteousness or justification, criticism or condemnation is not the way to go, rather choose to elevate God above every situation. When God finally spoke to Job, He didn’t start explaining to Job the reason why such terrible things happened, God didn’t justify Job’s righteousness and faithfulness, God only talked about HIMSELF and the works of his hands to show that He is the great God. This got me thinking, that maybe that is what God wants us to do in such down times and situations of life, that we should focus on how great our God is and elevate Him for who He is. In elevating God, you begin to see and hear what God wants you to do.  God asked Job to  pray for his friends and after obeying God’s instruction and God restored his fortunes twice as much as he had before.


Yours in the walk...
relationship
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