2013 Highlights

1:54 PM MyWalkDownTheAisle 0 Comments

As the year runs to an end, here are some recap of some of the lessons learned during the year.

  • Marriage is a journey towards Christ, a deliberate walk you have to make everyday with your spouse towards a perfect God. "First Steps (January 2013)".
  • God is always in the business of reconciling the church (his body) back to him and one of the greatest avenue for this is marriage. As you and your spouse take that deliberate walk towards Christ everyday, you are both changing, to becoming more like God into that man, that woman, that parent, that God truly wants you to be. "The Reconciliation Business (February 2013)".
  • In a marriage relationship, sometimes sorry is not enough, it is so important to talk through the issues and handle each issue through communication and letting each other understand why and what areas to be addressed. Both parties should help each other in the process of growth, it is not enough to settle disputes but to make deliberate efforts to be better persons for each other. "To Forgive and Accept an Apology (February 2013)".
  • It is the role of man to CULTIVATE the women in their lives, making them all that God wants them to be and presenting that woman to himself saying: “Now this is the bone of my bone…”."To Cultivate (March 2013)".
  • The truth is, marriage should be a place where YOU can be YOU, recognizing your weakness and trying to be a better person. Marriage is a place of rediscovery and growth for you and your spouse. So go with an open mind and get ready to grow and mature into that perfect man and woman that God has called you to be. It is an interesting walk down the aisle. "Mirror of Weaknesses (March 2013)".
  • Proverbs 14 vs 1 "A wise woman Builds…" “a wise woman” not “a wise married woman” You don't  have to wait till you get married to start building!! "A Wise Woman (April 2013)".
  • Submission is not slavery, it is not an oppressive force that hangs over marriage. Submission is power, it operates on pure faith that can help the husband grow spiritually and empowers the wife to be all that God wants her to be. "Submission...Empowerment (May 2013)".
  • Either way, we have to learn to love all the way- 100% and not based on conditions. This is Christ’s way of love and believe me that is what marriage is meant to do to us- To teach us to love unconditionally. This love can turn a weakness to a strength and a strength to greater strength. "The 50/50 Marriage… (June 2013)".
  • Personal development is a form of development at the individual level, but in a marriage, personal development has a ripple effect. It affects the spouse and children in a positive way. "Personal Development in Marriage (July 2013)".
  • Accepting this God given differences is a way of making us better spouses. Receiving your spouse is a daily choice to love, respect and accept your spouse as God’s special gift. When you learn to receive your spouse everyday, the question won’t be “Did I marry the right person?” but “Am I becoming the right person?” "Receiving your Spouse (July 2013)".
  • Marriage is a step of faith; There will always be giants in the land; God has given you all it takes to overcome; Ten versus Two..."What do you see (August 2013)".
  • As both couple decide to move closer to God, the gap between them fizzle out! Several things happen here, couples get closer with each other in unity, and they each become Christ like, they raise Godly seeds and our society becomes a better place. "The Mystery of Unity (September 2013)".
  • Marriage revealed myself to me, who I really was, my strengths, weaknesses and oh my vulnerabilities! Am still unveiling myself, and the more I discover myself, the more I have to learn and unlearn a lot of things. It is not about "me alone" anymore but also about my husband, children, family, in-laws, community, and generations to come. "Be Myself (October 2013)".
  • I have come to learn that forgiving your spouse is one thing and forgiving yourself is something else. I have also learned that i find it easier to forgive myself when i am truly repentant and am making efforts to change and be a better person. "Forgiving Myself (November 2013)".

0 comments :

FORGIVING MYSELF

7:43 AM MyWalkDownTheAisle 0 Comments

This is something new i am learning as i walk down the aisle of marriage everyday...
Marriage is between two forgiving person as i have been told and i am learning to forgive my husband through God's grace. But there comes the issue of forgiving myself when i do wrong, especially when i don't mean to. Anyway, i usually don't mean to do the wrong that i do, but most times i find it hard to move past the wrong even when my husband says he has forgiven me. I find myself still apologizing and referring back to it, even when my husband has moved past it. I have come to learn that forgiving your spouse is one thing and forgiving yourself is something else.

The enemy tries to rub in the guilt by making it so obvious the hurt or harm caused.This is his tactic even with our relationship with Christ. God is a forgiving father, if we confess and repent, he forgives us! but most times we find it hard to forgive ourselves."There is therefore now, no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus..." Romans 8 vs 1-2, has helped me to learn to forgive myself. Why should i keep condemning myself when i have been forgiven by Christ and even by my spouse?
I have also learned that i find it easier to forgive myself when i am truly repentant and am making efforts to change and be a better person. Anyway, there are no perfect individuals in marriage, we are all working to be better persons.
So not only am i learning to  forgive my spouse, i am also learning to forgive myself.
Yours in the walk....

0 comments :

GRACE AT HOME

8:56 AM MyWalkDownTheAisle 0 Comments

'...But where sin increased, grace increased all the more.' Romans 5:20
You need a lot of grace in marriage. Even in the best of relationships, things happen that cause misunderstanding and hurt. Speaking about his marriage, therapist Michael Sytsma says: 'Before I was married, God said, "Mike, you have some rough edges. To help you become more Christ-like, I'm giving you Karen. That should do the trick." So he brought Karen...into my life to identify all my shortcomings. My first response when she points out my flaws? Not gratitude! Instead, I strike back: "How dare you point out those things? What's your problem?" Then I have the opportunity of either denying my feelings, or owning them and maturing. And Karen can either harbor anger and resentment, or offer grace and forgiveness. Imagine a marriage filled with grace: a spouse who extends joy, pleasure, sweetness, kind speech and unmerited favor. My wife does that. I'm still working at it.
Here are four ways you can show grace to your spouse:

 Try to look at it differently. Focus on the positive. If you think your spouse is stubborn, feeling loving toward them is hard. But if you exercise grace and choose to see them as persistent and tenacious, loving them becomes much easier. If they're disorganized, by grace you can choose to see that as a sign they    are spontaneous, or creative, or the flexible type, or even over-extended. '...You'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things...noble... gracious- the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse...' (Philippians 4:8 TM). People usually try to live up to the image you hold of them!. 
See them as God created them to be. Focusing on your partner's flaws doesn't help either of you. The Pharisees saw only the worst in the woman caught in adultery. Jesus didn't minimize her sin, but chose to see what she could become through grace. 'I don't condemn you. Go, and stop what you're doing' (John 8:11). Grace enables you to see beyond your spouse's upsetting ways and work with God in helping them become the 'new creature' He's called them to be.
Celebrate them. Too often we try to impose on our spouse our desired image of them. We resent them and insist they change, see it our way, and do things to our required standard. If they don't, we think they're inconsiderate, unloving, and even un-Christian. Grace doesn't operate that way! It understands, accepts, forgives, and leaves changing others up to God. Try telling yourself, 'Yes, that annoys me, but I wonder what God's trying to work out in my spouse.' Then step back, love and accept them and let God work on them.
 Forgive them. Your spouse will irritate you at times because of what they are. We're all different. She thinks she's detailed; he thinks she's nit-picking. He thinks he's laid-back; she thinks he's lazy. We act out the image we hold of ourselves, and that'll change only when God changes it! Acknowledge your intolerance and forgive your partner's irritating behavior -even before they do it again. That's 'pre-emptive forgiveness,' the kind that denies resentment, a toehold on your marriage.
Culled from Word For Today.
Still Walking…



0 comments :

HE SEES US AS ONE

6:08 PM MyWalkDownTheAisle 0 Comments


God takes the covenant of marriage seriously, anyway, he is himself a covenant keeping God and he expects us to be like him! Yea! He also wants us to take that marriage covenant seriously and that is proved by the fact that he is a witness at every marriage ceremony. Yes, he was there at that very moment you made that vow, no matter how big or small that ceremony was, God was definitely present.


“ Yet you ask, why does he reject it? Because the Lord was witness to the covenant made at your marriage between you and the wife of your youth…” Malachi 2 v 14



After witnessing this covenant ceremony, God sees both spouses as one. We become one before him! When he sees Dave, he sees Pat! When he sees Mary, He sees Daniel too! Because we have become one in his presence. He will not bless one and leave the other, No! When he blesses one spouse, he has automatically blessed the other! When he provides for one, he has automatically provided for the other too! But the question is DO WE SEE OURSELVES AS ONE, THE WAY GOD DOES? If we do, I think we will begin to see things differently and treat each other better in our marriages.


Yours in the walk…

0 comments :

The Mystery of Unity

9:16 PM MyWalkDownTheAisle 0 Comments


I have always wondered on this mystery and I finally got an answer to it! In my few marital years, I have observed that moments when I make God my priority, when I totally yield to him is when am closest to my husband. The closer I am to God, the closer I am to my husband. I am more patient, loving and I even hear things on his mind!! This really baffles me a lot, it is so amazing, the mystery of unity in marriage.
This mystery is simply God. Remember the three fold cord? GOD, YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE? The three fold cord that cannot be easily broken(Eccl 4v 12b). Am going to use this image as an illustration;
God

Husband                                      Wife
The truth is the closer we are to God, the closer we get to our spouses. The couple in the triangle above, has God as their foundation, but in a marriage relationship, that is not enough. We need to have constant relationship with the author of marriage to be able to understand each other and love each other like God himself wants us to. As you move closer to God, the gap between you and your spouse fizzle out! Now check out this same couple, they decide to personally have a relationship with God and get closer to him. 
God
Husband                        Wife

As both couple decide to move closer to God, the gap between them fizzle out! Several things happen here, couples get closer with each other in unity, and they each become Christ like, they raise Godly seeds and our society becomes a better place. One will chase a thousand and two, tens of thousands, the enemy is aware of this power in unity and he will try to bring so many distractions our way, to affect our relationship with God and eventually our relationship with our spouses. Let us hold on to God, who first loved us because he alone can help sustain our marriage relationships. This is the mystery of unity!
Yours in the walk….

0 comments :

Subscribe to: Posts ( Atom )