FRIENDSHIPS- LESSONS FROM THE BOOK OF JOB (1)
The story of Job is one of the popular stories in the bible, his challenges, his response and his comeback especially since God restored him and blessed him even much more than he was before he had his challenges. Most studies have focused on Job himself, but the book of Job also talks about his friends and the role they play in the life of Job especially during his challenges.
I have been studying the book of
Job to learn about friendship relationships most especially on how to handle
friendships during challenging times and also how to be a good friend during
challenging seasons. We all go through difficult times and during this period,
we pray and talk to our friends especially the close friends, so how do we respond
to our close friends in difficult situations and how do we receive love and advice from friends in difficult situations? This month, I will be sharing some of the lessons God
is teaching me as regards this topic and I pray that it ministers and helps
someone that needs to read this.
GOOD INTENTIONS ARE NOT ENOUGH
Let’s take a look at Job 2 vs 11-13:
“11 Now
when Job’s three friends heard of all this adversity that had come upon him,
each one came from his own place, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and
Zophar the Naamathite; for they had made an appointment together to come to
sympathize with him and to comfort him. 12 When
they looked from a distance and did not recognize him [because of his
disfigurement], they raised their voices and wept; and each one tore his robe
[in grief] and they threw dust over their heads toward the sky [in sorrow]. 13 So
they sat down on the ground with Job for seven days and seven nights and no one
spoke a word to him, for they saw that his pain was very great.”
Job had good friends, after
hearing of his adversity, they left all they had, their family, their
businesses, work and all to visit with him. The bible says they made an appointment
together from their different places to sympathize and comfort him, imagine
such friendship! And when they did not recognize him, they wept and they each
tore their robes and sorrowed with him. In fact they sat there with him on the
ground seven days and seven nights and no one spoke a word to him because he
was in great pain. These were friends that understood the need to be present in
the pain with their friend, they didn’t have to say anything. They didn’t just
say “sorry for your loss” or “I feel your pain” and then leave, they mourned
with him for seven days saying nothing, I can imagine them not eating too!
Eli, Bil and Zo were good friends
with good intentions, so what went wrong? At what point did they miss it? God
told Eli in Job 42 vs7-8:
7 It came
about that after the Lord had spoken these words to Job, that the Lord said
to Eliphaz the Temanite, “My wrath is kindled against you and against your two
friends, for you have not spoken of Me what is right, as My servant Job has. 8 Now
therefore, take for yourselves seven bulls and seven rams, and go to My servant
Job, and offer up a burnt offering for yourselves, and My servant Job will pray
for you. For I will accept him [and his prayer] so that I may not deal with you according to your folly, because
you have not spoken of Me the thing that is right, as My servant Job has.”
In this verse, God told Eli, that
they had not spoken of HIM what is right. There is an important message here, “most
times in the bid of comforting our friends, we say the wrong things about God”.
Job’s friends were Christians, they claimed to know God in their own way, but
they said the wrong things. It would have been better if after the seven days
of mourning, they hugged Job and sincerely told him they will be praying for
him and actually do so. Good intentions are not enough, if you are going to say
anything at all, it is important to say the truth about God’s word instead of blaming
and laying accusations. This leads us to the next point;
COMFORTERS TO CRITICS
A lot of times we are quick to
judge our friends during a difficult situation, we say things like “maybe you
are being punished”, “what did you do?” “what is it that you are not telling me?”.
In Job 4 and 5 we see Eliphaz rebuking Job, in Chapter 8, Bildad was urging Job
to repent, in Chapter 11, Zophar also contributes by telling Job to repent, in
Chapter 15 Elipaz accused Job of being foolish and in Chapter 18 and 20, Bil
and Zo lectured Job on the punishments that befalls a wicked man. The comforting friends became critics and we see Job
defending himself through his challenges. Job called his friends miserable comforters
in Job 16 vs 2-5:
2 “I have heard many such things;
Wearisome and miserable comforters are you all.
3 Is there no end to [your futile] words of wind?
Or what plagues you [so much] that you [so boldly] answer [me like this]?
4 I also could speak like you,
If you were in my place;
I could compose and join words together against you
And shake my head at you.
5 [But instead] I could strengthen and encourage you with [the words of] my mouth,
And the consolation and solace of my lips would soothe your suffering and lessen your anguish”.
Wearisome and miserable comforters are you all.
3 Is there no end to [your futile] words of wind?
Or what plagues you [so much] that you [so boldly] answer [me like this]?
4 I also could speak like you,
If you were in my place;
I could compose and join words together against you
And shake my head at you.
5 [But instead] I could strengthen and encourage you with [the words of] my mouth,
And the consolation and solace of my lips would soothe your suffering and lessen your anguish”.
It is wrong to criticize during a
difficult time, as good friends, we should be careful not to throw stones at already
broken pieces, this is a thin line we all often cross, from comforting to
criticizing.
HOLD ON TO YOUR VOICE, DON’T LET
TRIALS SHUT YOU UP.
Job knew at some point that his
friends had become his critics, he knew they were undependable.
Job 6 vs 15-18:
“My brothers have
acted deceitfully like a brook,
Like the torrents of brooks that vanish,
16 Which are dull and dirty because of ice,
And into which the snow melts and hides itself;
17 When it is warm, they are silent and cease to flow;
When it is hot, they vanish from their place.
18 The paths of their course wind along,
They go up into nothing and perish.
[Your counsel is as helpful to me as a dry streambed in the heat of summer.]”
Like the torrents of brooks that vanish,
16 Which are dull and dirty because of ice,
And into which the snow melts and hides itself;
17 When it is warm, they are silent and cease to flow;
When it is hot, they vanish from their place.
18 The paths of their course wind along,
They go up into nothing and perish.
[Your counsel is as helpful to me as a dry streambed in the heat of summer.]”
Job was able to keep his voice
because he knew his God, he was not allowed to be swayed around by friends
especially during the most vulnerable time of his life. He held on to his
voice, he spoke his mind and he refused to be put down by his friends.
Vulnerable times, are the moments we have to stay true to our beliefs and the
word of God, most of the time we find ourselves swayed by the opinions of
others that might not necessarily be true.
Job 13 VS 2-8:
“Behold, my eye has seen all this,
My ear has heard and understood it.
2 What you know I also know;
I am not inferior to you.3 But I wish to speak to the Almighty,
And I desire to argue with God.
4 But you smear me with lies [you defame my character most untruthfully];
You are all worthless physicians and have no remedy to offer.
5 Oh, that you would be completely silent,
And that silence would be your wisdom!
6 Please hear my argument and listen to the pleadings of my lips.
7 Will you speak what is unjust for God,
And speak what is deceitful for Him?
8 Will you show partiality for Him [and be unjust to me so that you may gain favor with Him]?
Will you contend and plead for God?”
My ear has heard and understood it.
2 What you know I also know;
I am not inferior to you.3 But I wish to speak to the Almighty,
And I desire to argue with God.
4 But you smear me with lies [you defame my character most untruthfully];
You are all worthless physicians and have no remedy to offer.
5 Oh, that you would be completely silent,
And that silence would be your wisdom!
6 Please hear my argument and listen to the pleadings of my lips.
7 Will you speak what is unjust for God,
And speak what is deceitful for Him?
8 Will you show partiality for Him [and be unjust to me so that you may gain favor with Him]?
Will you contend and plead for God?”
To be continued...
Yours in the Walk...
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