I learned this lesson early in marriage, no matter how much I try to fake my attitude, it just won’t work, I started feeling like I was not myself in my marriage. The truth is, marriage should be a place where YOU can be YOU, recognizing your weakness and trying to be a better person. In a marriage relationship, not only will you get to know your spouse better, you also get to know yourself better, your weaknesses, strengths, attitudes and disposition to things. You might think you have a perfect personality, wait until you get married and your weaknesses stares at you in the face.

In a good marriage relationship, you should be able to express yourself to your spouse and vice versa. In expressing ourselves, our weaknesses will come to play, how you or your spouse use that information is now the most important thing. This self discovery in marriage should push us to be better persons and to work on each other’s shortcomings together, not to excuse it by saying ”well, that’s who I am” who says?. God created marriage to make us more like him, doing away with all those old habits and becoming a new person in Christ. Yes, it is good to be yourself in a marriage relationship, but be ready and open to change, no, I call it growth. So you are still yourself, but you are growing together with your spouse in Christ.