A BETTER YOU AND ME

2:00 PM MyWalkDownTheAisle 1 Comments


“This is who I am…”

“This was me before I got married…”

“You knew me before we got married, so why should I change?”

"Just accept me for who i am.."


Even though we are not saddled with the responsibility of changing our spouses, only God can do that, it is important to understand that "marriage is meant to change you!"Yes! to make you more like Christ! A better husband, a better wife, a better friend, a better parent, a better You!
Both parties, working together to be a better form of themselves under God's guidance should be one of the founding blocks of a Christ centered home.

Salvation brings you to Christ and Marriage is one of God's reconciliation tool, to ensure you act, behave and think Christ like. Truth is if you are the same person as you were when you first got married, then you are not growing and growth requires effort and the willingness to grow. No one wants to be stagnant on a job, we want promotion and increase, so we work harder, we take certifications and professional exams. The same effort and willingness is required for marriage too.

Most of the time, we think we know who we are before marriage... maybe not well enough.. 
Marriage revealed myself to me, who I really was, my strengths, weaknesses and oh my vulnerabilities! Am still unveiling myself, and the more I discover myself, the more I have to learn and unlearn a lot of things. It is not about "me" anymore but also about my husband, children, family, community, and generations to come.



I have been able to overcome the fear of not being myself in marriage, because i am constantly growing and learning for this reason, I make better choices and i am willing to be a better person.

I hope you are too?

So, I am still myself, but I am a better me.

Yours in the walk

1 comments :

THE WISDOM OF NO

8:53 PM MyWalkDownTheAisle 1 Comments




I recently took time to evaluate myself in the light of the story of the ten virgins in Matthew 25:1-10

 “Then the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom. 2 Five of them were foolish, and five were wise. 3 For when the foolish took their lamps, they took no oil with them, 4 but the wise took flasks of oil with their lamps. 5 As the bridegroom was delayed, they all became drowsy and slept. 6 But at midnight there was a cry, ‘Here is the bridegroom! Come out to meet him.’ 7 Then all those virgins rose and trimmed their lamps. 8 And the foolish said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.’ 9 But the wise answered, saying, ‘Since there will not be enough for us and for you, go rather to the dealers and buy for yourselves.’ 10 And while they were going to buy, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the marriage feast, and the door was shut.

 My evaluation question was " would you be one of the 5 foolish virgins or the 5 wise virgins?" and to sincerely answer this question, i needed to understand what made some virgins foolish and what made the others wise. 

  • The first is the oil; it wasn't that the foolish virgins didn't carry any extra oil, but that they didn't carry any oil at all. They actually took their lamps and they took no oil with them. At this point i told myself, "well, i think i have some sense to take some oil with me. Its just like driving a car with no fuel in it, to take the car out, i have to ensure there is fuel in it". Check!✅
  • The second is the "No"; the wise knew that their oil will not be enough if they shared it and they were polite enough to suggest that the foolish virgins should go and buy for themselves.

It was at this point i knew i would have failed the second test. I know i would have shared my oil, the virgins were all together, watching and waiting for the bridegroom till they fell asleep, at this point am sure some bonding would have taken place, some new friendships, some shared experiences... Oh, i would have shared some of my oil.

Lesson:  The truth here is that the wisdom is not only in having the oil, but also in saying "No" to the request of the 5 foolish virgins. If the 5 wise virgins had shared their oil, they would have ended up becoming foolish because the oil would not be enough and they would have also gone out to get more. At that point, the question will not be about whether they previously had oil or not, but that they were not ready when the bridegroom came.

There is a time for everything, a time to say "no" and a time to say "yes", having an understanding of that time is wisdom. 



Yours in the Walk...

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